that was june 22nd 2006....
Utsav said “ Anirban, don’t go. Red house will loose this again and they will make a fool of u,”I thought for a while, I knew khasif, he knew me. Khasif is the red house captain.He asked me to take part in the quiz for every other red house members refused to be insulted.I thought for a while. I did never think khasif would really play a dirty trick on me, insult me and make fun of me. They would restrict to mere joking only.I had a desire, a wish to be on the stage participating in the quiz, making my house win. I finally said,” Are u going with me, khasif??”Khasif said,” you and me only along with class 11 boys.”It was yesterday. Today I rejoice. I had my dreams of my childhood turned to reality. I really did participate and red house won after …… god knows how many years!!!!!!What can be better?I had really never expected this close shave win over the green house with just 4 points and the champs of yesteryears gold house had a tie with the blue house for the third spot.Yes! If you have guessed it right, then I say I am talking about the inter house quiz championship.In the final moment I discovered khasif himself was not participating. I had only 2 class 10 students [I have to tell they are genius. They had 75% contribution to the win. They are real champs!], and Aditya who is a class 11 student. And I alone was from class 12. Unlike every other team we had only one senior student. That’s a boon/ blessing in disguise.I talked to the class 10 students for the first time. Seriously! I am in this school for more than 13 years but still…We were friends in minutes. It didn’t take time for us to mix with other and share our thoughts and we all wished the other the best of lucks!!When I was going to the stage i felt my throat drying and I felt like a marshy land turning to Sahara in seconds. I felt a pathetic repulsion from the stage. I felt like running away. It was impossible idea for any one to imagine red house would beat the regular champions the gold and the greens!So did I, never gave the “champion red house” a thought. I really felt miserable. I started imagining boys booing at me. But still I hold my emotions I said to them “ see I am the senior most and I have to co ordinate this. And make sure, we win!”My appeal was half hearted, so was their response. Then came the announcement. We went up the stage, followed by rest of the houses.I really felt afraid. Believe me or not the adrenaline started flowing like river Ganges. The other teams seemed full of confident and ready for the quiz.We seemed equally lacking confident. The first two rounds were bit less than a nightmare! After 2 rounds we stood at ZERO. Amazingly we stood joint third with gold’s, who like us scored duck. In the 3 rounds we made a record of a series of question passes and the audiences had started laughing at us and making fun of us. I personally felt very humiliated, and I think my friends also felt the same. Why does everyone underestimate me?? In the third round I faced a on stage embarrassment. One of my red house contestants mistakenly pronounced saxophone as “ SEXOPHONE”. Every body there laughed, giggled and what not/. But from the 3rd round things started changing. It all started with the history round and contemporary world round. Slowly but very gradually we emerged as the leader with 63 points with the greens at 59 points.The visual round was very marks scoring. Instead of countless easy questions and chances the greens failed to make it. At last we ended up in 83 with the runners up greens at 79. The gold and the blues tied at the third spot with 61.I had the dream come true. We all shook hands and ended the ceremonial close.Never before today did I feel that I could win this quiz contest. It was a dream and remained as a dream. This win has a special importance in my life.Firstly, this is the first time I have participated in the inter house quiz and that too in my last year of my school life. 2ndly, this has instilled in me a bit of self-confidence and thirdly and most importantly, this will help me in building a healthy and good relationship with the junior classes. After all I am not going to stay in this school after a few months…I should not get nostalgic now.After all this day turned a landmark and may prove to be a turnaround event in my life. One may not see this anirban who lacks self-confidence, afraid, shy introvert. I should change for my better.Still mey khush nahi…. [Still I am not happy]That inward depression curbs me. Its [ as I have discovered] is a pathetic sense of used-to ness with something very imaginary, still not discovered by me.

diary entry -22nd june 2006